Well, as I sit now . I have to worry about me, my life, quite a lot actually.
I got one, well, somehow sobering thought. No, I think it makes sobering not, but ... hm, maybe it also requires no precise word. At some point came I run with the idea that I'm everything that happens around me at the moment and also what happened to me, would not. well I want the result of the way, but do not go their way. The thought was that I, Well, was simply that I have of my time adult life really can do everything and can do. With one exception, I just want to be consequences. If I do, I can do anything in the world. It seems to me even before himself, as if I was kidding me or talk to me something nice, but maybe it makes me just a little more comfortable now. And we'll, I wanted to do something that cause no relation. I do so only now do I transfer the consequences. The act is not easy, but a must, because I can not lead the relationship first and then make me quietly out of the dust. I think with every decision one connects implicitly somewhere possible consequences and risks, and takes this well either buy or just hopes not to its admission. As with a relationship. I'm a relationship. I do so in the knowledge that they can break. With the knowledge that the time for a relationship of more than depressing. I know and knew me and yet I entered into a relationship. There were risks, for which I thought I could wear them as appropriate when a situation arises where the cases. How do I get my turn to input ideas. I can do and what I want. I wanted the relationship that they had and now has to live with the consequences, I'm feeling shit, I'm thoughtful, too little or nothing in the registry, but ok. That is the risk that was set with the relation beginning and now realized (let me be the legal Expression forgive).
However, during the last few days makes me a moment, a thought or doubt strong. In every respect I was also always the risk that they will break. (Although I speak only from the negative side, I will not hide that the reason is to look beyond the risk that one usually has the time of his life) but after the last few days is compounded by a risk or consequence which did not look . Probably because I never really in the situation was to sit opposite my partner and to distinguish more or less with my decision out of the relationship to surprise. I have the situation behind me because I am of the opinion, even if I have the situation does not wish it was a consequence of my actions, entering into the relationship and for that I must stand up straight. Did I just this particular risk or consequence have now seen, first times can not be the problem my partner. That leaves only me.
But now I am wiser, I know it can happen in a relationship not just the moment when the relationship dissolves, but the moment where I it needs to resolve. And that's something where I currently am busy thinking really hard if I want to again enter into a relationship. Platt said, even the "safe disconnect" is one of them, but I do not want to. As a conclusion of my own logic, I can not relate more responsive, because I will not get into a situation in which I prepare even the relationship to an end. And I will not enter into relationships in the naive hope "I will not even make statements."
Where this consequence is not very well tolerated. Perhaps the moment only falls at some point in my head in intensity, but at least for now, he gives me goose bumps. That reminds me, and we'll, I guess, once again, I must be patient. Since my patience is indeed Sogut ..
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