Hm, to bring around the aufn point, my relationship is over. It was amazing 7 months and 11 days. The time was fine, we had ups and downs, yes. But overall I did not have time to miss.
However strange rumbling feeling in me. I'm used to in those moments when everything becomes too much to have directly ausm impromptu suicidal thoughts, strange white I feel not after. This is her doing. It was about at night by 2 clock in the middle of Plant City. I was asked if I was missing in life, a feeling that I had not experienced. Today, about 7 months later, I know what I lack. The feeling that one is mourning micht. To me as a person who has left the life of another. It is something that would strengthen, together with my counterpart, my faith in relationships - I think anyway.
It feels empty and meaningless. What exactly? Everything really. And it all comes together: relationship ended, semester we go, next to it still really really lost best friend, or friends from the other not treated, would have liked me as ego. No idea, I might have a different conception of friendship. I have few friends in my life, exactly 2, and I'm not sure. The rest are (volatile) Known. But that's ok so I could not act more friends in my life because friends mean to me that I am there for them if they need me. It is well known that I have abandoned my relationship on the one hand, on the other hand, 'm not very happy about it. I would argue, therefore, it is apparent that I needed to talk with someone at present I could. Every day, every minute, every hour. Then when I just need you. I have to but can expect from a friend? We are talking about exceptions, I do not want a constant readiness or in compliance if had bad shit, but maybe if my life before me swims. (Epic set, aye?) That being said, I offer just that my friends, so I'm happy about was that there were only 2 pieces.
But back to my original feeling. It makes me feel worthless. Within the relationship is all swell and Sun But when it comes to pieces, I feel like shit, not because of the lost relationship - that too - but even if I then feel like I'm the only one where it is shit. If I'm the one who has been abandoned, ok, even really an absurdity, because it allows me the feeling of another question to me and the relationship. But God, if I am the one who leaves, I am now here with the feeling that I'm the only one of the mourning period, the moments that relationship. A huge feeling of almost on a giant ball of shit. In general, I find the role very strange, I should be the one who is high on etc, and finally was all my decision. But she bounces through the history of the world and celebrates their lives, so wow, i can barely see how much you enjoyed our relationship, another Riee ~ sending. In combination, that I can not even look back and I can recall the feeling, that makes you feel good. But well, hey, then I take me halt ne time out, and I am first few days fürn sad ... ... aso, so tomorrow my semester goes on and I work alongside several times a week. Yes, I should call it a big thing? I believe this goes on ... a great thing.
Stupid White makes me quarrel with your best friend, so much questioning about myself, what does me any position currently in. .. no matter which subject. Wow, thinking about it makes me somehow not depressing. Hm, maybe depression is advance that you have a spark of hope for change. For me it would be more resignation, so that means giving up, pulling back to terms, with conditions. I mean, let's summarize (t) me
- relationship break
- best friend Sogut as away
- confused with other friends
- goes semester off in about 20 hours
- alongside work
- not a feeling that will mourn me
- not even suicidal thoughts
Yes, great. That sounds like a lot of fun. And .... well .... no idea, in view of what is before me, I really want to give up, somehow inside of me I do know that I "have done long ago. Posted within the meaning of "do not be depressed, it is so, will remain so, arrange up with it." Show impressive shit.
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