Monday, February 9, 2009

Why Does Heat Cause Me To Have Sinus Infections



It's strange. The last entry is about 24 hours ago, but a lot has changed. I have not got Uni, know it will grieve for me, my best friend got back with my friends, no more doubts, well, suicidal thoughts are not yet, but you can not have it all. In any event, of all that has taken a turn for the better, one thing is unchanged. Well not quite the same is true, but it has worsened. My confusion.
I wear a fucking Fight in me, between emotion and reason. Both have their clear position, ratio considers it impossible to lead the relationship and they want emotion at all ... how do you say? at any price, exactly. Well, and even though I now know such things, such as the one for me grieves, and it really does, then that is indeed somewhere "nice" feeling, somehow not to be alone with what you feel, but on the other hand, makes that my point still shaky. In much of what I experience or what I think, I am ambivalent between mind and feelings. So far so good, 50-50 chance. Examplar: I lie in bed at night can not sleep, ask me what it is doing or thinking. I'm thinking about is the moment in my mind the theme to "let go". Mind says: "Do not think about it, because it is difficult to say you let go of feelings." Fuck it, it feels good to think of her, her being spiritually close, it alleviates the pain and whether it thus more difficult letting go is a shit. "Yes, take the right decision 50/50 chance, sounds so good. Hm, so who is right? Only also provides up to me at the same time, if I knew in advance who was right, what for me? I Will ? let go let go Is it right? So I have to clarify two issues and the really shitty situation for everyone. Whether it comes to grief goes, to the fact that there still hang their things which it has given me, or her smell in my sheets. I'm confused bullshit and no idea where to go, besides the fact that I was never in such a situation, I simply no point. I know of is to let go or I want, I would have a fixed point on the work I can, no matter what. But I'm so not even the only einfadch and confused and no idea, after all, begins a week time to the university until now I see perhaps more clearly ... whatever 'clear' means.

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