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There are moments in each life that are dark. Dark, gloomy, cold, dull and colorless. In short: really crappy. Triggered by a wide variety, but also irrelevant things. But what matters is to find that which brings back the color, which gives light and heat spread - in these times.
I think I've found it. Sure, the times remain gray, but it's a light at the end of the tunnel to see and which gives me the strength to endure what I can not change. In return, to change the force, which has can change. Passive, but active emotional. A long-lost and believed forgotten feeling. But it to germinate, and more each day. And it will probably return to a flower, a flower's what I would pompously call inner peace.
Almost better than the feeling as such, is the certainty that it is not lost. may be denied life difficult enough, but only as a half permanently, rather than the real world participating, man is hard to understand, difficult to arg. Sure it is too early to affirm the full participation of, but it still gives me the power of a big step forward to go.
You have to imagine it: You sit at home all are in some way among people, even just sitting with The Fray and silver moon in the empty apartment. The shutters are down, the room lit only by artificial light. A perfect setting for either 4 liters of chocolate ice cream and a love romance or a 45 and 3 balls. But, and here that matters, it feels good. There are moments of invulnerability. Moments in which one can fear nothing. At last you can see what matters in life, so what really matters. It gives everything a new meaning, or make any sense. One can see in which direction it goes or should go. This gives courage and fun to me at least. It makes everything so much easier to bear because there is always something the best - if only in spirit - can draw. All this combines in one person. Almost a miracle.
There are only minor pixels, let me think, feel and uncontrolled, but also a gentle feeling of lost control. At last I seem to find what I am or what I can be at least, and that makes me very positive. It gives the particular direction and meaning. No matter what is or will be, I have learned to be grateful for what is given me. I have learned to be frugal and I am now. Here and now. Grateful for what I get and frugal, alsdass I make no claims on all this. I guess what I have and not ask for more.

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Can you control feelings? I believe and fear the same time. I was able to present a large part of my refrain. Although they are beautiful, show me I'm alive and human, but ultimately they cause interference. They hinder me pull me in a direction which is already blocked, emotional and effective. I understand people are not right, "My next partner must accept that I need much time for me." Operating as the remarks
make the people worry about feelings? Certainly it would be nice if my next girlfriend booze as Papi and cook like Mom could. But somehow Is it not what is in the hands of the individual. Or is it? Are there people who choose to target, because a comparison on paper Sogut suits them, whether the same interests, appearance, or the environment, to develop feelings for this person? So for me it does not work. I think it would, I would have already picked out some person from my program ..
any case, I consider such statements for totally stupid. I am convinced also because a certain experience that, while it may be certain characteristics and attitudes (right? Dunno) that you'd love it if the partner could have, but essentially it's like this, you meet someone and either skin a direct or an egg out of the sock you learn to know the person better, and it develops into something, then it comes together and realizes that she is just like her own mother. Then you remember that you hate your own mother because she is the devil and separated again. Controlled does not sound like that. I mean who on God's green earth - I have a little blasphemy - has feelings for an opposite, in which he expected at least some level of emotional compatibility or can expect, and thinks it "jo, actually jam before the A8 louder butterflies in my stomach when I think of him / her think, but he / she cooks reluctant Then'd better not.. "? I do not know what I wonder naja preserved before many would have, but would also deprive me much. Currently, more likely preserved.
Well anyway, it would be easier, you could stop feeling so easy when you realize there is nothing objective in it ok, then feelings. Only well, the condition is fast to me, objectively nothing (+), ie eig then feelings. Since it does not work, I try it with displacement. I mean what in the Generation of alcoholics and their children will be worked out, but probably just work with me too. It has also, I became calmer, I could concentrate on the non-emotional-essential things in life and everything went its course. But that was my .... my what actually? In the me in, what is humming now and then the Tetris tune .. hm, Unconscious? Inner voice? In any case, something in me that I had no control what apparently driven against the strategy. Then you lie in bed at night sleeping, calmly. Then you start to dream.
The scene looks familiar to you. Oh, that's the past. But then it all goes too fast to wake up and the damage limit. I do. Them. We. Images. Rapidly. Her lips. My lips. Boom. Wide awake. And I'm back where I was 8 weeks. Hooray.
Joar, as I stand now and do not come from the trip down and knows exactly what happened before that a part in me hopes that oil prices below 1 € / L falls. And we'll, yes. Big thing.
Hmm, yes that is my current dilemma that every time when it's drying himself out again brings out the depth and corridors of my brain turns. Maybe I should just fill the convolutions with enough liquid to make it slip. Beer, for example .. ;-(

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I'm sitting here, dead silence. All around me is so quiet, I'm afraid someone might hear my thoughts. Because they are noisy and wild. Shouting at me, the result of common ground. I only see her picture before me. In front of me and us. from us? it roar at me.
Outside it is 35 ° C. The sun is shining, the people look happy. It is so bright that my eyes . Pain To guard against this bright, friendly to me as a fair erbuntet translucent world I put my headphones into my ears. Here I can be for me, among all the people. There is a solitude that allows me to her drift. Back again. Where is she now? What she is doing? Do it to me and why not?
order to build the wall higher, I increase the maximum volume. In the hope the voice of the voice headset can in my head to drown. It is this song that binds my attention to it. Thanks to her I believe in angels, not in those with wings, no, not those with a halo, but those that one can feel at home.
fantasies crowding around my eye, I see, see us. We walk across the water, dream on us clouds. We can not be stopped, to go on and on, without a goal - but we do not need. We are the target.
on my skin as the sweat in my mind I'm with her, we are close to us, I see them, they can almost feel, almost smell it. Her face is coming closer to him and to her lips, very close to mine. Drops of sweat roll down from my skin, many little hills soft in my arms. It shakes me, I look and see the sun. At the very moment when the blinded light beam I lose my reality, I look again. Look around, someone has my thoughts heard? Everyone sits calm and focused and away from their desks. Sit on their books and computers.
had luck out the window at my side I see the sun sink, but a new one goes on - I set the letter and see it. She stands before me. Smiling.

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1,000 signatures against deportation of Tibetans


The Tibetan Lama Sonam leave from Rickenbach, Switzerland must. However, he resists. His friends contact for him: They collected signatures and presented them yesterday to the Migration Board Thurgau.



A thick envelope, presented the city of parliament Michael Wiler Sarbach yesterday an employee of the Department of Migration in Frauenfeld Thurgau. Many signature sheets with about 1,000 signatures for an extension of the permit of the Tibetan, Sonam Lama, were included. "This is all we can do for him," says Michael Sarbach. He called the collection of signatures to life after he learned that his friend, Switzerland at 30 must leave in June 2009. Within no time had the Internet over 300 Members of the newly formed Facebook group "Sonam Lama Appreciation Society" connected. And we were literally flooded with signatures. "

The woman took off

Sonam Lama arrived in late 2005 in Switzerland. Earlier, the Nepalese nationals living in the United States. There he met a Swiss woman, whom he married and because he moved to Switzerland. But now the two live together any more. In February, Sonam Lama's wife from their apartment Rickenbach moved out. And therefore the migration of Thurgau, an extension of the permit of Sonam Lama has rejected. In a letter to the Tibetans, the Office also writes of a lack of professional and social integration. The decision of the Migration Office can not understand Michael Sarbach. Sonam Lama is more integrated into social life, when many Swiss. Of this evidence, not least the many signatures, says Sarbach. Sonam Lama was open and outgoing and have to be a singer of the band Wiler "Cruel Noise" made a name. He regularly attend concerts in the region. Why they had come to know well, says Michael Sarbach, who helps as president of the Cultural Association of Sound Wiler sofa to hold concerts. Sonam Lama and professionally could be accused of anything. Since Sonam Lama, lives in Switzerland, he works for a parcel service company in Wil. "It's not that you people identifies which "integrates so active, says Sarbach.

I would lose everything, "

also Sonam Lama defends itself against the threat of expulsion from Switzerland. Against the decision of the Migration Office of the 32-year-old has lodged appeals. He was afraid to leave Switzerland, he says. "I would lose everything." In the U.S. he could not return, as is to be made was missing. In Nepal, he knew no one. His parents live in India. Sonam Lama still has not lost the hope for a positive outcome. The broad support from its environment encourages him. But profit is expected to petition anything. "Such actions are it again and again. But this is not a majority vote of the people. We consider the signatures therefore not, "says Stefan Felber by the Department of Justice and Security. The appeal's decision can be expected in later this year. "If this turns out negative, I'm pre federal court," the Lama Sonam is combative.

Source: Deborah Berwick, ThurgauerZeitung, 06/04/2009